Golf Jokes

Here’s a pot potpourri of golf jokes. I didn’t write them. They came to me, as do many, in an email that has been passed around and circulated, probably, a million times.

My belief is that these funny golf jokes are in the public domain for use here.



  • Golf balls are like eggs ~ they're white. They're sold by the dozen ...and a week later you have to buy more.

  • A pro-shop gets its name from the fact that you have to have the income of a professional golfer to buy anything in there.

  • It's amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the house will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps.

  • When you stop to think about it, did you ever notice that it's a lot easier to get up at 6:00 a.m. to play golf than at 10:00 to mow the yard?

Jokes About Our Favorite Past Time

  • Golf is by far the ultimate love/hate relationship. Sometimes it seems as though your cup runneth and moveth over.

  • It takes longer to learn good golf than it does brain surgery. On the other hand, you seldom get to ride around on a cart, drink beer and eat hot dogs while performing brain surgery.

  • A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving up the game.

  • Water hazards are no walk in the park for fish, turtles, frogs or gators either.
  • Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up praying a lot.

  • A good golf partner is one who's always slightly worse than you.

  • That rake by the sand trap is there for golfers who feel guilty about skipping out on lawn work.

  • If there's a storm rolling in, you'll be having the game of your life.

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More Golf Jokes

  • If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight.

  • You probably wouldn't look good in a Green Jacket anyway! A sweatshirt will do just fine!

  • Golf appeals to the child in all of us. . .This is proven by our frequent inability to count past the number 5.

  • It's a simple matter to keep your ball in the fairway if you're not choosy about which fairway.
  • If profanity had any influence on the flight of a ball, most everyone would play better.

  • The greatest sound in golf is the Whoosh, Whoosh, Whoosh, of your opponent's club as he hurls it across the fairway.

  • A recent survey shows that of all jobs, caddies live the longest. They get plenty of fresh air and exercise, and if there's ever a medical emergency, a doctor is always nearby.





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